On Thursday morning the ferry from Barcelona docked in Palma de Mallorca and 10 minutes after driving down its exit ramp, me, the other half and Macy, our fox terrier, were in the apartment overlooking the Palma Sport and Tennis Club. We had made the journey from London in three days with a night in France and another night and day with friends in Barcelona. Now, of course, we have to go back again at some point but the trip down was fun. And, incredibly, we have not decided to file divorce proceedings, even if I did have to explain to my partner during my stints at driving that he could jab his foot as much as he liked but, as far as I knew, the car did not have a brake pedal on the passenger side.
There had been some anxiety as we headed from London to Folkestone to take the Channel Tunnel (where you drive your car onto a train that whisks you to Calais): just over a week earlier there had been chaotic scenes at the terminal, with some people caught in tailbacks for almost an entire day. Whatever the cause (the British press blamed the French for being French, the French press blamed Brexit), it had been rectified by the time we arrived. Lots of these logistics outages seem to be like this: squalls that hit, cause terrible disruption, then just disappear. Even the check-in process for the dog went mostly with ease; her travel documents all in place, just some pecking-order issues to resolve. At the counter the woman asked, “What’s the name on the booking?” and my partner replied with pride, “Macy”. This glow was slightly diminished when she said, “No, sir, what’s your name?”
Once in France we drove to Paris, then south to the city of Bourges, where we would stay for one night. I was looking forward to lots of stops at French motorway service stations, stocking up on magazines and getting great coffee but, sorry France, we are going to have to give you low marks on this front. Motorway services are terrible in lots of countries, for no clear reason: if you have operators who can run rail hubs and airports successfully, why can’t you make these potentially lucrative pitstops look good, have food offers that go beyond hamburgers and fries, and celebrate good local produce instead? For France this should be a simple win but, instead, the services were literally a sea of flooded loos, broken tills, coffee from vending machines or Starbucks, and a lot of Burger Kings. On the second day, in southern France, there was a nod to regional food but I never found a good newsstand – though I was tempted by the laminated charts of French kings that are apparently designed to entertain children in cars. No wonder the iPad took off.
I chose Bourges for an overnighter for the simple reason that it sits about halfway between London and Barcelona but I knew nothing about the place. It’s a gem. At its heart is an incredible Gothic cathedral and, wrapped all around it, a neighbourhood of half-timbered buildings. And while there are antiques shops and boutiques, it’s not prissy and seems free of tourist tat (in a Tudor town like this in England, everything would be called Ye Olde Fudge Packet or Shakespeare’s Milkshake Shack).
The second day’s drive was easier as the number of trucks diminished and the landscape became wilder, more mountainous, more sunbaked – temperatures hitting 41C at some points. And then, as the day passed, you were driving with the coastline as your guide – past Narbonne, Perpignan, Girona and on down to Barcelona. The crossing from France to Spain goes by almost unnoticed – though you do suddenly see giant advertising hoardings for a sex-toy supermarket. The location is Ronda Litoral, which seems just one letter short of the perfect address. We didn’t stop.
By early evening we were swimming in our friend’s pool – dog included – and joyfully stayed put for an entire day. The final hurdle? A Baleària ferry at 22.15 on Wednesday night to Palma. Now, against my own advice, I had read too many online reviews when trying to pick a ferry company, so I somehow imagined that we would be lucky if they gave us some water wings and told us to swim. But it went like clockwork. First, dozens of articulated lorries backed on, then a vast carpark full of vehicles somehow fitted in too. We found our dog-friendly cabin and Macy could also be taken to one deck where they had constructed a fake-grass peeing station, with illustrated graphics to explain its purpose. Macy seemed to have decided that she would wait until we landed but might also have been put off by the woman who had missed the sign and was sitting picnicking on the pee lawn with her daughter.
So here we are, about 1,500km of driving later. It’s 07.00 on Friday morning as I write this, sitting on the shady terrace, but already there are early morning joggers darting by, keen to avoid the heat. And, at my feet, a dog who also looks ready to meet the local perros.