The Faster Lane / Tyler Brûlé
Answers on postcards…
With most of the northern hemisphere in the full swing of summer, it must be time for The Monocle Common Sense Quiz, edition one. The rules are very simple and open to all timezones but you must respond by no later than 18.00 Zürich time on Tuesday to be eligible for one of three prizes. While there is always a right answer to everything, our editors will also allow for creative licence and award extra marks for wit and pragmatism. As common sense is at the core of the Monocle editorial mission and is the whole point of this quiz, please ensure you take this into account with your responses.
As for prizes, it goes like this. Third place gets a set of Delfonics cases for staying organised. Second place will receive a signed copy of The Monocle Book of Photography along with a kicky, striped Monocle summer tote. And the winner receives a specially selected set of “back to work” treats, chosen by our head of retail. Sound good? Ready? Off we go.
1
It’s a Saturday afternoon, you’re at a lovely hotel in Sardinia but no one told you when you booked that most of the hotel was going to be taken over by Instagrammers with big lips/boobs/bums and their photographers. There’s so much augmentation around the pool that it has been blocked out by the sun. What do you do?
2
You’re not a fan of video conferences and you’re also a stickler when it comes to timekeeping. What’s an acceptable window to wait for someone to appear on screen? Three minutes? Five?
3
You’re in the lobby of a grand hotel in the Alps and your friends have invited their dog along to have its tummy rubbed. Of all the pets you’re friendly with, this one’s your favourite. Despite being more mid-sized than toy, he jumps up on your lap. Guests all around ask his name and where he’s from. He’s having a lovely time and is so relaxed that he starts emitting the most silent, violent farts. Moments later a woman nearby gags and another pulls out a hand fan. What action do you take?
4
You’ve just read an article in a favourite Swiss newspaper about cancel culture. It’s written from the perspective of a bemused correspondent based in Chicago who is a sharp critique of this US export. You conclude that this type of commentary would no longer get past most editors in US newsrooms, which makes it all the more intriguing. Do you send it to all of your US friends and colleagues to show them that freedom of thought and expression is alive and well elsewhere? Or leave them be?
5
A friend has invited you round for dinner and asks whether there are any dietary issues. In your excitement, you reply that there are no issues and that you’re “really into oysters or goat’s cheese”. When you arrive at the alfresco dinner there’s a tower of oysters that have been flown in from France and a wagon-wheel-sized block of chèvre. Perfect for the other assembled guests. After a while, the host asks why you're not touching the items you’re “really into” and you become slightly uncomfortable. Under the table you consult your phone. Horror! You forgot to type “not” before “really into”. Now what?
All answers can be sent to me at tb@monocle.com. Please enclose your phone number. Winners will be invited onto next week’s edition of Monocle on Sunday but will be advised in advance. Get typing!