Yuletide spirit isn’t just about old traditions but the new ones we inaugurate

Christmas is a time for new traditions, not old ones. There, I said it. The famous line, often credited to Einstein, about insanity being the repetition of the same behaviour with the expectation of different results feels especially apt at this time of year. Attempting to restage a version of a Christmas Day that we enjoyed sometime in the mid-nineties is a mistake. The gap between expectation and reality is rarely narrowed by repetition. And so perhaps this is the year for a recalibration: a fresh ritual instead of a tired one; a punch-up with the season’s well-worn script.

One definitive way to do exactly that, if you haven’t done one before (or at least, for a while) is to throw your own Christmas party. This is particularly pertinent if you’re the sort of person who shies away from birthday celebrations (and from the tyranny of being sung at in public).

Hosting a Christmas party is different. It’s not about you, it’s about the season. It’s a celebration of the unofficial end to the working year and the domestic moment that December encourages. You are not the centrepiece but the conduit – a far more comfortable role for many.

And unlike birthdays, the diary date is wonderfully elastic. You can be as last-minute as you like without offending those guests who really are being invited last-minute. Any date of the month will do, with the 24th available for those confident that their guests haven’t yet retreated to family homes.

Last year, I attended an immaculately well-executed example at a friend’s house in London. Granted, they run a successful bakery, but the mechanics of the evening are replicable. Most importantly: something hot, involving pastry, must appear on the table early in the evening. Homemade is best; a mince pie straight from the oven is ideal. And if you don’t bake, shop-bought versions are acceptable but only if warmed, dusted with icing sugar and served with the self-deprecating honesty that lets everyone know that you don’t know your way around a pastry cutter.

Then there’s the guest list. Christmas parties allow for a social looseness that birthdays largely can’t accommodate. A birthday tends to tighten the circle; a Christmas gathering can expand it. Neighbours, colleagues, the trainer you sweat in front of at 07.00 – December is the one time of year when social circles can overlap without awkwardness. A mixed guest list produces its own kind of cocktail: new introductions, revelations and that glorious feeling made possible with a “one-night-only” kind of energy.

Timing is also refreshingly efficient. Nobody organises a birthday party from 18.00 to 20.00 – that would feel joyless. Yet, for a Christmas party, a defined two-hour window is not only acceptable but appreciated. People have schedules, school plays, flights to catch. A neat slot respects the season’s busyness. It also keeps the atmosphere festive, purposeful and pleasingly contained, not to mention makes room for an after-party to start at 20.30.

A final non-negotiable note: a house cocktail. Ideally it’s something pre-mixed, decanted into a vessel and poured with minimal fuss. A lemon drop martini works well and so does an old fashioned with added festive cinnamon stick. Offer a second option that is even simpler, the kind of assembly-line drink that a willing, more introverted guest can manage while you attend the spiced nuts (all Christmas parties must feature spiced nuts). Your signature drink will lend a touch of ceremony – a new tradition to toast with.

What all this amounts to is a soft argument for rethinking ritual at this time of year. Christmas, with its curious blend of nostalgia and optimism, is fertile ground for a new practice or three. A modest gathering at home, not over-produced but thoughtful, can be its own tradition. Whether or not it becomes an annual fixture is irrelevant. What matters is the gesture – a well-made thing in a season that rewards those who like to make a little magic.

Emily Bryce–Perkins is a London-based writer. For more opinion, analysis and insight, subscribe to Monocle today.

Read next: How to throw the perfect festive gathering: 20 tips from esteemed hosts