Opinion / Robert Bound
Christmas market sweep
So Christmas is Christian? Well yes: clue’s in the name. Christmas tends to give you a warm, fuzzy feeling too? You bet. And Christmas is quite camp, am I right? If done correctly, of course. Now if only the “Bavarian” Christmas market – currently sprawled across the best part of London’s Trafalgar Square like an office-party drunk – shared these key seasonal qualities. Yesterday I got stuck in the market’s infernal crapness on the way to the National Gallery and can report that the diabetes-in-a-cup hot chocolate, mulled wine courtesy of Chateau Donkey Piss and the bored, cold-looking sellers made the Turners and Monets even more beautiful and meaningful than you could possibly imagine.
The sort of Bavarian Christmas markets that don’t require inverted commas – the ones in Munich, for instance – come from a lineage of events whose vibe is a bit more hand-carved nutcracker than sulphurous “bath bomb”. These things are a bit tough to replicate – snow might make the brown portacabins of Trafalgar Square a little more seasonal but, really, steer well clear and head straight for the paintings. As luck would have it this weekend, Monocle is hosting its very own Christmas market at our London headquarters – with a Finnish Father Christmas, reindeer to nuzzle and a tombola with prizes that are almost, almost works of art. So much better for your elf.