Monocle’s offices are divided into banks of desks and I sit on one right in the centre of all the action. I perch opposite our editorial assistant, Jack, and alongside me are Lex, our foreign editor, Tom, head of radio, Josh, the editor, and, of course, Sophie, the editor of Konfekt. They’re a clever, amusing bunch and throughout the day eddies of debate on all manner of topics, serious or daft, swirl back and forth.
This week, however, I have noticed just how Konfekt Sophie has become. Every day she has been serving us a wonderful mix of glamorous looks and displays of on-point rhetorical decisiveness on any topic that comes her way. Her debating approach is to keep her counsel for a while before diving in with some rather Nero-esque judgement that stops you dead. Just this week she has declared Puffa-style coats as unbecoming (the gist of it seems to be that clothes that make scratchy sounds have no place in modern society); deemed all Whatsapp groups to be tiresome; sent to her mental dungeon anyone who contemplates buying a fake Christmas tree; defended the right of children to use glitter; railed against advocates of a cashless society; and given her backing to striking nurses. Meanwhile, I can barely decide what I want for lunch.
I am happy to concur with some of her pronouncements but today and tomorrow we have The Monocle Christmas Market at Midori House in London and much of it takes place outdoors. What’s more, the event coincides with a weather front arriving in Britain that’s been named “the Troll of Trondheim” (though, in this era of sensitivity, I imagine that the Norwegian ambassador is frantically dispatching missives to various UN organisations insisting on a name change because of the frosty image that this title paints of his people). Anyway, I think that a thermal layer, a hat and some puffy delight (I am referring to the coat, not myself at this juncture) would be wise to sport. Because, as Tom, that man of words on our bank of desks, so finely said yesterday as we stepped outside, “Wow, it’s a bit chilly around the old turntables.”
Some other Monocle Christmas Market enticements include the attendance of real reindeer that are rather charming and, of course, Santa, who is flying in all the way from Rovaniemi to chat to the children – even if he comes by Finnair, not on a sleigh. Our Santa has a multitude of wonderful attributes: he speaks several languages, drinks through a straw to avoid soiling his whiskers and can sit in the cold with endless children (and a few tipsy adults) bouncing on his knee and, as far as I can tell, never needs to go to the loo. How is that possible?
What’s more, if you push through all of our lovely – real – Christmas trees, you will also discover numerous stalls, including The Monocle Shop’s, selling lovely gifts. Many of these fine stands will be staffed by the Monocle crew, including yours truly and Mr Brûlé (another person who eschews downy coats, opting instead for layers of Tyrolean loden). Plus, rumour (also known as DHL) has it that the first copies of our winter newspaper, aka The Alpino Edition, should be landing at the market too.
So if you are in London this weekend, do come to see us. I believe that I might be on the gluhwein stand on Sunday afternoon and will be generous with my ladling if you say hello – no matter what coat you have chosen.