Too many months have passed since I last untied the Monocle Weekend Edition Sunday mailbag, dumped it on the floor and sorted through all the correspondence. Fortunately, I found a few hours and a clear stretch of floor in our Zürich HQ on Saturday morning and managed to get through all the post, collate all the questions and rank the ones in need of the most urgent responses. As ever, you can send your questions to me at tb@monocle.com or post them to my attention at: Monocle, Top Floor, Dufourstrasse 90, Zürich 8008, Switzerland.
Q: As the days get shorter and we move back into dinner-party season, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to accommodate the dietary requirements of many friends. Should I focus on more neutral menu territory? Exclude some friends? Or just book a table at a nearby restaurant?
A: You left out one important question: Why not make new, more adventurous, friends? In many corners of the world the dinner party has become a minefield where preferences get blurred with allergies and politics get in the way of accepting a generous invitation and having a jolly evening. Just as guests have a moral obligation to be lively, entertaining and ask questions of those seated around them, they also have an obligation to not stress out the host with unreasonable demands and confuse dislikes with the need for a clear rooftop for a helicopter medevac. There are a few essential rules here. First, lettuce was created to hide anything that you’re not fond of. Hosts should always have a bowl on the table to allow guests to shuffle over bites and conceal them under a crunchy iceberg leaf, while guests should know that the mound of leaves is there for that very purpose and make no further fuss. Two, be the busiest host you can possibly be. You’ve got napkins to fold, wine to uncork, two skillets on the go and you’re also the DJ. You’re allowed to miss questions such as ‘Is there soy in this dressing?’ Or ‘Did you use any wine in the cake?’ You can tilt an ear, smile and motion towards the window and say ‘Yes, the water is absolutely fine in the lake’ and then refill glasses. And third, you might want to seek out friends from elsewhere. From my experience, go French or Japanese – they devour almost anything and haven’t buckled to the food intolerance racket.
Q: I bought a pair of deck shoes earlier this summer and they’re now all I wear. Can I pull them off in the winter months as well?
A: Here’s a question for you. Are your winters spent grabbing a coffee in Gustavia on a Sunday morning? If not, then I think you should park them up until your next holiday to somewhere subtropical. If you like the moccasin-style details, you might go for something with more of a chunky sole but a similar upper by JM Weston.
Q: Any idea what became of flight shaming? It was such a thing for a while but it seems to have disappeared.
A: Funny how short attention spans are and how fickle the news cycle is, no? We end up with concepts like flight shaming when we don’t have conflicts across a nearby sea or when our once-model liberal democracy suddenly becomes a global hotspot for gang violence and innocent people start getting killed. Also, it becomes complicated to condemn others when you find that you need to buy a Qantas ticket to visit a dying relative because there are no trains from Malmö to Melbourne.
Q: Wait, wait. I have one more question. Is cultural appropriation still a thing?
A: Let’s be clear, in many corners of the world there are people who have no idea what this is or what all the fuss is about. Then there are a great many sensible countries who paid passing attention to this moment and then moved on. Unfortunately, there are also places (you know who you are) where there are vocal constituents who wake up every morning on a mission to be offended on behalf of others, jump on their digital devices and make considerable noise when they should concern themselves with being in the office, getting along with people and not hiding behind a screen. Earlier this week, Oktoberfest wrapped up in Munich and tens of thousands of people from all corners of the world got dressed up in the attire of their hosts, the indigenous Bavarian people. Not only were the Bavarians happy to rent out their national costumes (as they do every year), smart retailers were quick to upsell doe-skin lederhosen to Thai revellers by telling them that €3,000 is a sound investment for a pair of buttery shorts that they’ll have for life. The fact that the cultural appropriation brigade isn’t rushing to defend the Bavarians when Saudis, Koreans, Nigerians or even Berliners don dirndls, half-belted loden janker jackets and knee-socks suggests that this whole movement has been misguided since the get-go. As an Indian gentleman, whose brother was off to an Oktoberfest evening, said to me, ‘Why shouldn’t a non-Indian woman be allowed to wear a sari? It’s beautiful. This is about getting closer to our culture and brings understanding,’ he explained. In other words, if we’re being properly inclusive, everyone should be welcome in the Oktoberfest tent – pert bums, pushed-up boobs and all.