No one buys a holiday for ‘mindfulness’. Travel marketing needs a reality check
Earlier this week I attended a conference in Tokyo and was reminded by several of the speakers on stage about the “emotional connection” of travel and how seeing the world “weaves a new sense of community and inclusivity among us”. My favourite was “how being out in the world allows us to find our authentic selves”. First, what does that even mean? That when I boarded my flight I was inauthentic? Was I an imposter travelling on the wrong passport? Had Interpol issued a “red flag” that would see me detained for having not discovered my authentic self while packing? Second, the amount of travel industry guff and gimmickery out there is truly alarming. I was also told that 83 per cent of travellers consider sustainability as a key part of their decision-making when booking a hotel (source please!) and “actively seek out sustainable practices” during the booking process. What? Sustainable on their finances perhaps but I have yet to come across anyone who gives two hoots about a hotel’s sustainability measures while they’re scrolling for the best possible price.
Travel, at its best, is a proper kick in the ass that jolts you and forces you to look at things in sharper relief. It makes you appreciate what you have back home, spot new opportunities that you wouldn’t mind incorporating when you’re back at base, set a few new benchmarks, possibly relax and maybe even force you to up sticks and relocate. Today’s column is an appeal to hotel groups, travel boards, cruise companies and airlines to start showing the real suite that I booked and not a CGI render; displaying a cabin that is currently flying in its global fleet rather than one still in mock-up mode in a hangar in Toulouse; and taking a fat red pen to scripts and cutting out “mindfulness”, “purpose”, “consciousness” and “meaning” from all in-room promo videos, TV spots and Youtube pre-rolls. A couple other travel tableaus that can go on permanent vacation are:
– The lady who throws open the floor-to-ceiling windows in her hotel room (99.3 per cent of properties globally do not have these windows), breathes deep and is caressed by billowing drapes
– The lady (possibly the same one) who we see walking along a trail, garden path or babbling brook, stretching out her hand to caress the wheat, ferns or lavender hedge
– The possibly burnt-out German auto executive (with good reason) breathing deeply on a Lululemon floor mat atop a wooden platform overlooking Balinese jungle canopy
– Father and kids cannonballing into a beautiful, twinkling sea, when we know full well that the hotel operator’s health & safety and legal teams will fence off this part of the jetty and ask guests to only use the pool
– The contrived family celebration on the hotel lawn that has been through so many sensitivity and diversity committees that no potential guest recognises themselves at the gathering is anything but authentic
– Hot stones being placed on an oily back
– Hot oil trickling onto a forehead
– Hot bartender shaking a cocktail and laughing at most likely poorly dressed, out-of-shot guests
– Wacky old people having a kooky time in a hot tub. You will be familiar with the older black man in pork pie hat; white tanned lady in a turban with big glasses (remember, all older women need to look like Iris Apfel when casting seniors); white bald man with a crazy white beard; and tattooed, older black woman in a floral bikini and nose ring (remember, a nose ring is the international signifier for edgy for those over 80)
– Wacky middle-aged people having a kooky time on the hotel-bar dancefloor. This dancefloor does not exist in 99.7 per cent of global hotel properties
If all of this chimes, you’ll be happy to hear that Monocle’s The Escapist will be back just in time for Christmas and your 2026 travel planning. And, finally, a little quiz. What overused travel term was not employed in today’s column? The first three readers to respond from APAC, EMEA and the Americas get a treat. You’ll find me at tb@monocle.com.
