Planes, trains and brogues: a week on the move

The Faster Lane was in top gear this week as it moved westward from last Saturday, zipped eastward again on Thursday, went high-altitude on Friday and made a dash to the Gulf at about the same time as this column went to press. Here’s the week that was, told in seven modes of mobility.

1.
Zürich to Paris on a Helvetic Airways Embraer E190
This is one of those journeys that should be three hours by train but is a stubborn four to five hours depending on the connection and maintenance work across the French and Swiss rail networks. It would also be faster if Switzerland’s railway bumpkins allowed for trains to travel at 300km/h between Zürich and Basel. Never mind, I have a solution. If you avoid landing at Paris’s CDG in the morning and opt for early afternoon, it can be a swift 43 minutes in the air and 35 minutes into the centre of Paris. 

2.
Monocle on Rue Bachaumont to Takara on Rue Molière for no fuss Japanese in Paraboot brogues
What better way to cross the soggy and slick sidewalks of Paris than a pair of hefty, made-in-France Paraboots? Have you noticed how the sneaker continues its retreat to the back of the wardrobe when it comes to pulling together a daily ensemble? Thank heavens.

3.
Hotel Bachaumont to Gare du Nord in a G7 Taxi-operated Lexus sedan
Smart people know that G7 Taxi is the only way to get around Paris on four wheels; Uber and limo services are for amateurs. With its Lexus-heavy fleet of VIP cabs, G7 has a snappy app, polite drivers and the freedom to use bus lanes for speeding around Paris. The only thing missing is a predictive bit of technology for avoiding the early morning rubbish trucks that block you on a side street during your morning dash to the station.

4.
Paris to London on Eurostar in a Siemens-engineered rail carriage
Travelling by Eurostar should be something to look forward to rather than dread but somehow it judders from bad to worse. The upholstery and interior finishes on the latest rolling stock are not wearing well, the wi-fi is sluggish at best and skirts for men as part of the uniform? Really? How about using all that fabric to reupholster the threadbare seats? And perhaps some golden, dimmable lighting to keep all the luxury-industry regulars looking radiant on the evening jaunt home? One of Japan’s high-speed rail operators should pair up with Hitachi to launch a rival service that ups the offer for all.

5. 
Zürich to St Moritz in my Toyota Land Cruiser
I’ve had this solid set of wheels for more than a year now and every time that I get behind the wheel I just want to keep on driving. Next stop: Brno? Brindisi? Batumi? It’s comfy, peppy for its size, well-appointed with its built-in fridge (anyone for Krug in the back?) and reassuringly diesel for that day the grid collapses. 

6.
St Moritz to Landquart in a Stadler-built carriage on the Rhätische Bahn
One of the world’s most beautiful rail journeys would be a bit more soothing if the seats reclined – but then there’d be a danger that you’d drift off and miss the stunning scenery. I never tire of getting on these red trains, winding through the mountains and wondering if we would ever build such infrastructure today, and if we did, would we find the manpower to do it?

7.
Zürich to Dubai on a Swiss A330
For mid-haul jaunts, this is my shuttle to Montreal, Toronto and with increasing frequency, Dubai. The business class needs a refresh but the first class still works and feels every bit the brand – right angles, woody, pragmatic and efficient. If only the clever Swiss could install a flatulence-suppression system for the man in 2A who went for the onion soup pre-departure. Uffffffff…

Enjoying life in ‘The Faster Lane’? Click here to browse all of Tyler’s past columns.