Matcha might be catnip to the tech sector but poodles are the real urban litmus test 

Savills, the international property-services company, puts out an annual Tech Cities report that ranks the 30 metropolises best at luring companies (which pay handsomely for real estate) in this sector. It’s a meaty piece of work that explains how the availability of talent remains the number-one pull for such companies (San Francisco unsurprisingly triumphs). This year, however, Savills has added a new metrics set: a Matcha Index. This is because, they say, “matcha is prized for its slow-release energy and perceived health benefits, aligning with tech workers’ growing focus on wellness”. On this metric, Tokyo triumphs (affordability, quality and good café culture) and London comes in second. I concur with matcha’s dominance – hello, it has taken over in The Monocle Café.

Personally, I despise all types of tea and everything associated with this habit. People who collect teapots, own a tea cosy, “put on a brew”, leave teabags in sinks (or left slunk like a dead mouse in their discarded mugs), folk who say “Ooh, that feels better” as they two-handedly hold a cup of tea – all of these people should be sent on a coffee-conversion course. If regular tea drinking isn’t stamped out early, it can be a gateway to matcha. And suddenly people who were once spotted holding a glass of rosé are chugging down what looks like mown grass and preaching about their health regimes.

But the Matcha Index itself is fun because it is often these odd sets of statistics that unpack how a city functions and reveal the health of its urban fabric (for Monocle’s Quality of Life Survey, for example, we look at the number of bookshops and the ease of procuring a glass of wine at 01.00).

So, I have made up my own new and very insightful urban barometer: the Poodle Index. Now this is a simple and foolproof barometer for predicting whether a neighbourhood is a safe place to live and, to create one, all you need to do is count the number of large men with small dogs. The greater the number of buffed gents parading fluffy poodles (especially if they – I mean the dogs – are sporting miniature raincoats and matching bonnets), the safer the ’hood.

The Poodle Index is also an indicator of property prices. High-scoring Poodle Index zones tend to be occupied by people with large amounts of disposable income and home to numerous pocket parks and well-kept green spaces. If I was a property investor, especially one not too worried with the tech sector, I would rely on the Poodle Index.

But unfortunately, it’s the tech players that every property developer seems to have their hearts set on luring into their projects, not poodle man (or woman).

I spent a big chunk of this week visiting new office projects across London and repeatedly the first tenants to take up acres of space were AI businesses and tech investors. So, sadly, it looks like the days of the espresso bar are numbered – soon every corner of this city, and at least 29 more, will be turning matcha green.

To read more columns by Andrew Tuck, click here.