Should Denmark take over the Shetland Islands? 

President Trump’s acquisitive gaze has drifted from Greenland, at least for now. Denmark’s pipe-smoking foreign minister, Lars Løkke Rasmussen, seems to have Jedi mind-tricked the Americans into believing that their military efforts would be better rewarded elsewhere – Cuba perhaps. It is, however, seemingly only a matter of time before Greenland breaks free of rule from Copenhagen. Losing 98 per cent of its territory will be a blow for the Danes but I have an idea that might offer a little compensation.  

On a recent visit to the Shetland Islands, I learned of a historical contract that, in theory at least, grants Denmark the right to buy the entire territory for just a few million dollars.

I went to Shetland to experience Up Helly Aa, one of several “fire festivals” that are held there in the winter months, with history that can be traced back to the mid-19th century. The young men who returned from the Napoleonic Wars had an excess of energy, pyromaniac tendencies and perhaps a touch of PTSD. To alleviate winter boredom, they began to set fire to barrels of tar and roll them around town.

The authorities eventually clamped down on the flaming barrel fun but realised that they would have to offer an alternative for the menfolk to let off steam – and thus the formalised fire festivals began.
 
Up Helly Aa is the original and the largest. It takes place on the last Tuesday of January in the capital, Lerwick. As darkness falls, more than 800 men in 40-plus teams, dressed in various wild and hilarious costumes, gather together in front of the town hall and light flaming torches. But that’s not all that they light. After parading through the town, their torches raining sparks down upon the thousands of spectators who line the streets, the men then set fire to a full-size replica Viking ship that they have spent many weeks lovingly constructing. 

Up Helly Aa celebrates Viking culture because Shetland was once ruled by Scandinavian kings. It started with Norwegian Vikings but by the time that ownership of Shetland was transferred to King James III of Scotland in 1469, it was ruled by King Christian I of Denmark. He wanted his daughter, Margaret, to marry James but didn’t have enough cash to cover the dowry, so instead mortgaged Shetland for 8,000 Rhenish florins to the Scottish king, with a promise that he would buy it back once he raised the cash. Needless to say, the Danish king was never able to raise the money to recoup the islands but some have claimed that the dowry contract still stands. Admittedly, these claims have mainly been tongue-in-cheek and from Norwegians – but I don’t see why Denmark shouldn’t have at least as strong a claim. By my calculations, those 8,000 florins are roughly equivalent to €5m. A drop in the ocean compared with the money that they would save if Greenland goes solo.
 
What makes the deal all the more enticing is that the Danes and the Shetlanders have much in common – and not only a refreshing disregard for health and safety. High levels of social trust, for instance. When I asked for the key to the guest cottage that I was staying in, the lovely owner, Mary, looked at me as if to say, “Why would you need to lock the door?” Despite the lurid plotlines of Shetland, a successful BBC crime-drama series, there is very little crime on the islands. And Old Norse suffuses the local dialect and place names, so I am sure that the locals could adjust to Danish (certainly with greater ease than me).

Shetlanders are a direct, unpretentious, pragmatic bunch. They are used to terrible weather; they have oil like the Danes but also a space port, currently being built on Unst with a view to launching satellites in the next year or so.
 
Above all, they are proud of their Viking heritage: they feel a genuine connection to Scandinavia. There is certainly no love for the governments either in London or Edinburgh. While I was there, I conducted a little survey on behalf of Copenhagen, asking Shetlanders by whom they would prefer to be ruled. Every single one told me that they would prefer to be part of Scandinavia than either Britain or an independent Scotland. Copenhagen, it’s over to you.

Michael Booth is Monocle’s Copenhagen correspondent. 

For more from Booth, read his missive on how if Trump’s threats have made anything clear, it’s that Danes don’t care about Greenland