Tray tables up: The civil aviation quiz results are cleared to land 

Today was supposed to be the day that I was going to tell you about the many Faster Lane readers who are so switched on when it comes to civil aviation that I had to empty the warehouse to dispense a bumper load of prizes off the back of last week’s quiz. Sadly, this is not quite the case. While some of you did reasonably well, no one scored 100 per cent and I’m struggling to decide if the highest scorer gets the promised prize (one of our Trolley totes) or do I make a little downgrade that’s more representative of the overall score? Just in case you missed it, here’s a speedy recap.

1.
Which airline has understood that the ground experience is integral to overall brand enjoyment and provided a lounge concept so good that you arrive early?

2.
Name the European carrier with the best make-up and hair?

3.
Which European airline wins for having the most masculine, capable crew and consistently good beards?

4.
Can you name the carrier that has a newish in-flight safety video in which the passengers who have been cast for this film are so dreamy, medicated and generally checked out that they don’t stand a chance of evacuating an aircraft that has done a belly landing?

5.
Which supposedly premium airline has made the very bad decision to remove all magazines (including Monocle) from the front of its long-haul aircraft?

6.
Can you name the Asian airline that has no sense of how to conduct service on a six-hour, north-south, overnight flight and thinks it best to just serve dinner, then go straight into breakfast and clatter the night away with the clanking of cutlery and crockery?

7.
Which carrier has had the good sense to build loyalty and create a sense of occasion by introducing a collectable series of destination-focused ceramics for its top customers?

8.
Name the G7 nation that is technologically advanced and a master of big infrastructure and innovative design solutions – but somehow continues to have the most arse-backward immigration and arrivals procedure.

9.
What airline has chosen to fill its home tarmac with decommissioned, sun-baked Boeings and Airbuses when these hulls should really be sitting mothballed in Jordan or Arizona?

10.
What is the most efficient, perfectly designed, best little hub in the Gulf and will be even better when the home carrier takes delivery of more long-haul aircraft?

P.S. Bonus question: Who used to fly 747s from London to their base at the far end of the Med and had Sunday roast beef trolley service, complete with dangerously long carving utensils? I’m talking very early 1990s here.

The good news is that almost all participants passed (the bulk scoring five out of 10), about three landed the bonus question and a lot offered up multiple answers to single questions with accompanying arguments. They were all disqualified. To break the suspense this Sunday morning, here are the correct answers.

1.
Cathay Pacific, with the help of Ilse Crawford, wins for best lounges. No one really comes close.

2.
The ladies of Aegean win for best hair and make-up in Europe.

3.
The best facial hair and overall in-flight air of masculinity in the aisles goes to the men of Portugal’s TAP.

4.
The threesome who star in the newish Swiss safety video are so blissed out and annoying that you hope they get lost on their alpine outing or Switzerland’s aviation authorities have the good sense to yank it – it’s unwatchable and not serving its purpose.

5.
Speaking of things yanked, Swiss has also pulled print from its planes, leaving a bunch of sad, empty racks. What did they miss? Print is the only premium channel that speaks to their top paying passengers.

6.
Many of you identified Asiana and Singapore Airlines for poorly timed overnight meal service but from my experience it’s JAL that needs a smart solution during a five-hour run from Southeast Asia up to Haneda.

7.
Etihad’s destination-based, collectable Arabic coffee cups are not only a smart marketing and loyalty tool, they’re just cute and clever. The carrier still has work to do at the front of the plane but they’re pulling ahead of their regional competitors.

8.
Japan! Sort out your immigration. Please. It’s overly complicated and out of step with the likes of Singapore and the UAE.

9.
Thai Airways. Time to remove all of those sunburnt hulls that greet departing passengers.

10.
Bahrain’s bijou little hub is the best in the Gulf. It will be even better when their new line-up of widebodies arrive.

And for the bonus question, it was Lebanon’s MEA that had a rolling carvery on its 747s in the 1990s. And smoking in the galley. Those were the days.

And the winner(s)?

Congratulations to Otto, Dirk and Bianca. Bravo. Treats airborne.

Happy travels readers.

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