THE FASTER LANE / TYLER BRÛLÉ
Question marks
This week we received scientific evidence that Monocle readers are a competitive, well-informed and good-humoured bunch. Though events and interactions over the past 14 years have helped to support this claim, we’ve been lacking the big data to convince academics and grumpy sceptics. Thanks to the quiz launched in this column last Sunday however (click here) in case you missed it), we now have all the stats we need to confidently state that ours is the sharpest audience of any Swiss-based, English-language, global media brand.
With a cut-off time of 19.00 CET last Monday, our little quiz attracted responses from Sydney (Australia, not Nova Scotia) to Montréal and the outer suburbs of Munich. It required several hours and a couple of glasses from Schloss Salenegg to sift through the responses, comments and elaborate attachments – yes, someone went so far as to send their answers in Excel and, not surprisingly, was immediately disqualified.
By Wednesday morning it was difficult to declare a clear group of winners as some questions demanded some creative licence and a deep knowledge of all things Monocle-related. So, we decided to throw out the format for this week’s Monocle on Sunday programme (tap here to listen), turned it into a gameshow and invited seven finalists to join us for a phone-in. Sadly we never got round to getting one finalist on the line (Nancy has a nice treat winging its way to her anyway), so in the end we were six along with our very own Andrew Tuck and Emma Nelson as hosts. Below are the correct or best answers to those burning questions. Please note: questions have been edited for brevity and not every answer is from a finalist.
- Why do dog owners get fined for not cleaning up after their pooches but horse-owners are exempt and can let their steeds dump away with great delight?
There were no fines for over 50,000 horses (1.3 million pounds of manure a day!) that transported people around London around the year 1900, so why bother with the rare appearance now?
From Camila in Chicago.
- Why hasn’t someone created a premium viewing-sans-frontieres service, which recognises that many people have bank accounts outside the countries where they reside, might have temporarily relocated to (are stranded on) the other side of the world or simply want to watch something in a language that might not be on offer in the place they happen to call home?
Licensing: another limitation of nationalism. Open markets = open minds!
From Christopher in Seattle.
- Is it okay to wear high-waisted, rib-cage-skimming denim if you’re male and over 30? Even over 20?
No one, ever. Unless they are playing a gondolier in an animated film.
From Nancy in Marylebone.
- What’s the name of our editor in chief’s dog?
Macy is the correct answer, though we did like the audacity of someone to suggest Fluffy. Over 30 readers got this right.
- Bonus question: what’s the breed?
For some reason most people who don’t know Macy (an opinionated fox terrier who also has some comments on today’s programme at around the 15-minute mark) from Andrew’s Saturday column suggested the dog might be a Podengo. We’re not sure why.
- I’m told that Tesla’s vehicles are a joy to drive but why are they so uncomfortable for passengers? (Please note: if you disagree with this truth, you’re disqualified from the competition.)
Mr Musk is too busy buying Bitcoin to bother with such frivolities.
From David in London.
- What happened to the kale boom? Are there millions of hectares of empty fields? And what about all those skipping ropes that were purchased about nine months ago?
Kale is so 2018. The fields have been repurposed for growing marijuana to help people get through the pandemic. The skipping ropes were fun for about a month, then they became a suicide hazard for those not smoking marijuana to get through the pandemic. (To be clear: I neither condone marijuana nor committing suicide.)
From Annika in Beirut.
- We’ve heard a lot of “the home office is here to stay; the traditional office is dead”. In ten words or less, what would a typical Monocle response be to this?
Shoot me now before someone says, “You’re on mute.”
From Adam in the rural Midlands.
- Why is our London hub called Midori House?
While the real answer is that our building carried too much dot-com-bubble karma when we moved in so we opted for something that reflected its leafy side in Japanese, we prefer this answer.
Suntory made it a precondition of being an early advertiser.
Another one from David in London.
- Finally, Monocle is lining up its next Quality of Life Conference. Where’s it taking place?
This was a trick question. Many of you answered Madrid but that already happened in 2019. We’re optimistically aiming for the end of June or early July and while we’d still like to go to Tokyo, it’s going to be in Europe – at sea.
Congratulations to our winners: Annika in Beirut, Nancy in Marylebone, Marius in Hamburg, Ian in Oxford, Adam in the Midlands, Christopher in Seattle and David in London. The Sunday quiz will return with even bigger prizes in May!