The Faster Lane / Tyler Brûlé
Pride of place
“Where are you from?” asks the driver on the way in from the airport. “Where are you from?” asks the front-desk manager as he walks me to my room. “Where are you from?” asks not one but three waiters in the restaurant. If I’m playing by the new but definitely not improved book of modern etiquette, I should have been hugely offended at every inquiry. I should have reported the driver, reprimanded the hotel staffer and not tipped the waiters.
Thankfully, I’m not that person and firmly believe that countries, cities and corporations are wasting hundreds of millions of dollars, euros and pounds on microaggression-management classes when most of the world is actually curious about the rest of humankind and where they’re from, how they ended up where they are and how they might be enjoying their new life on the other side of the world – and on it goes. The fact that much of the “enlightened” Anglo world (and let’s be clear, this was not a concept cooked up on a campus or at a management consultancy in Singapore, Bologna or Buenos Aires) has wound up in a place where asking the simplest of questions has somehow become demonised reveals a number of things.
First, it’s simply rude not to show interest in where someone’s from and want to learn about their life’s story. Second, how exactly do you have a conversation without engaging in someone’s background? Do you only discuss the weather and business? Or are we all supposed to be following potential acquaintances on social media and therefore already know their backstory so that we don’t need to bother asking? And third, it’s this type of thinking that makes management consultancies a lot of money, drains municipal coffers and indulges a tiny portion of society who might have had their feelings hurt, were simply misunderstood or might have even been having an off-day that was blown out of proportion.
Have a word with your management or drop a note to a couple of shareholders suggesting that profits are being squandered when there isn’t actually a problem
Last night, I landed in Dubai and, if you haven’t been, the emirate thrives on the question “where are you from?” That’s because the overwhelming majority of people who live here are from somewhere else. Also, Dubai has the energy of a place that is still being built, is not governed by Anglosphere codes of the thought-and-sensitivity police and hosts a variety of ideologies about how the world might end up looking in the next part of this century. The struggles of German, US or UK cities are not the struggles of Dubai, Bangkok, Jakarta or Dakar. All of these places have their own problems to get on with. Yet, somehow, management consultants, academics and too many Western media outlets like to think that the daily woes of life in Brooklyn or on a British university campus must also apply to people working at a law firm in Penang, design agency in Taipei or coffee shop in Bandung. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
To the readers in these places, you know this already and probably roll your eyes when you see your company trying to import such issues into your working environment. Rather than shrugging your shoulders, it might be time to have a word with your management or drop a note to a couple of shareholders suggesting that profits are being squandered when there isn’t actually a problem. I promise that you’ll get swift action. I might not agree with how many countries deal with their citizens or residents but is it really my business, as an outsider, to impose my views on how they conduct themselves within their own borders? If laws aren’t being broken, is it up to me to tell my neighbours how to behave, what music to listen to and what flowers should be on their terrace? Trust me, I’d love to! But it’s also about being tolerant of the likes and dislikes of others.
In less than 24 hours, Monocle will be throwing open the doors here in Dubai and welcoming an audience that is resident, passing through or maybe setting down roots. Find out more here. “Where are you from?” will be a defining question of the evening because it’s natural and we’re a curious, engaged and passionate group of journalists who thrive on the power and positivity of human connection. I hope to see you there. And if you haven’t sent over your RSVP, Hannah Grundy will put you on the list. Drop a note to hg@monocle.com.