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The online form asks you to input your country of residence and – though the airline, ferry company or visa office must have a pretty good idea where you are from (hello geolocation) – it instead offers you a very democratic alphabetised list of nations always beginning with “Afghanistan” (this must be one of the few times that having a Kabul address makes life so much easier. But I’ll hold off house hunting for now).
So you scroll away looking for “United Kingdom”, except it’s not next to the United Arab Emirates where you had hoped to spot it nestling. Perhaps it will be listed as “Great Britain”, or “England” or do you need to look for Reino Unido or Royaume-Uni? If you are from the UK, there are times when you have to resort to reading the list line by line to find out how your nation’s name has been secreted away.
Then comes the part that breaks the spirit: whizzing the digital dial through the ages to locate the year of your birth. My finger aches after the increasingly long period of time travel now required to return to whence I came. You have to avoid dialling away too ambitiously, however, otherwise you’re suddenly in an epoch when Queen Victoria was on the throne. One more shove and the country of origin may as well be “Roman Britain”.
This year, however, I won’t be scrolling back through time quite as far as I had feared. On my birthday the topic of age came up over lunch and it turns out that somewhere along the way I had added an extra year to my grand total. My partner – a man annoyingly at peace with everything, accumulating age included – kindly jumped in to correct me as I wailed and sobbed over the tapas (well, almost). How about that for a good birthday present?
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This year the return to the office, if not work, was delayed. In short, I took some extra days in Mallorca as the other half needed to abandon me and the dog for a trip to the US and I didn’t want to do the epic drive to London solo (plus the dog is rubbish at navigating). And, so, I lingered.
I went to see the Three Kings, Los Reyes Magos, arrive by boat in Palma (the following day, 6 January, is when many children here get their presents) and the subsequent carnival parade through the city. I went for evening runs as the skyline was blushed pink by the setting sun and I took the dog for her beach swims. Friends in Palma were back at work but still up for a drink, a coffee. The privileges of a different routine. Of life in another place.
But perhaps what’s hardest to leave is the light and winter warmth. It has been about 18C most days, blue skies throughout and the sun doesn’t set until almost 18.00 (London is dark just gone 16.00). Maybe that’s another sign of age but light now changes everything – it pulls you outdoors, out of yourself.
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One of the final tasks was to take Macy to the vet to get her post-Brexit paperwork sorted so that she could re-enter the UK. The appointment was with the same vet who first spotted her cancer last summer and set us on a treatment course that has kept her alive and by our side. He’s great and I thanked him profusely. He was impressed at how Macy had recovered, especially from the tumour that was removed from the shoulder along with a chunk of bone. “Most surgeons would have just removed the leg. I think that’s what we would have done,” he said as he bent down to gently stroke her still-attached limb. The dog’s head swivelled and she gave me a look that said, “Come on, it’s time to leave.” And so we have.