It’s late winter 1983 and the idea has been floated around the family dinner table in Montréal that I should do a European summer tour with my grandmother. School strikes in Quebec mean that I’ve already taken up weekday residency at my grandmother’s house in Ottawa and enrolled in the same school that my uncles attended. It’s a funny set-up at first as my grandmother is about to retire from her post in the Canadian government and all of a sudden she has her grandson as a boarder from Sunday evenings till Friday afternoon.
There are a few kinks at the start but after a couple of weeks we find our rhythm and a common mission in planning the summer tour. My grandmother is in charge of contacting the relatives that we want to call on and I make weekly trips down to Mags & Fags to pick up various British, German and French titles to get ideas for hotels, restaurants and shopping side trips. After some calls to cousins in Stockholm and Essen we have the makings of a plan and I start to pull together an itinerary that will cover maximum ground but with enough time to pause in places requiring extended retail investigation.
My references were Per Lui, Vogue Paris, Tatler and Harper’s & Queen for base research and American Express had a good selection of pocket-size guidebooks that were recommended by the father of a school friend. Two weeks prior to departure, my grandmother starts some evening fashion shows in the living room. These little style exercises have been part of my grandmother’s pre-bedtime routine for as long as I can remember and we settle on some dresses, some classic knits, a short trench coat and some leopard-print swimwear – bikini and a one piece. There’s talk about not having the right blazer but maybe it’s not needed and whatever is not in the small Longchamp suitcase can be purchased in London or Paris.
The final itinerary is sorted five days before departure, hotels are booked and train seats confirmed. All going to plan, the one-month tour will go like this: BA from Montréal to London; ferry over to Calais then on to Paris, Stockholm, Helsinki, Essen, Basel, Zürich; back to Essen, then side trips around Germany and the Netherlands before Air Canada from Düsseldorf back to Montréal. By the time we reach Paris and board a train up to Copenhagen and on to Stockholm, I’m rather enjoying my travels with Ema (mother in Estonian). The family and close friends always call her Ema but to strangers on the train she’s Ilse and I’m her travel companion – she liked to keep them guessing about who the teen travelling with the fancy lady was.
Over the following weeks we enjoy sunny lunches on the harbour in Helsinki, explore every floor of the NK department store in Stockholm and after reading about the imminent release of a watch that would transform the industry in Time magazine, we ensure that we’re at Globus in Zürich for the launch of the Swatch. On the same day, my grandmother found the perfect grey suit that she’s been on the hunt for in the Louis Féraud boutique (remember him?) on Bahnhofstrasse and I wander into Bucherer in the hope of buying a matte black Porsche Design watch but end up leaving with a Rolex. I meet Ema at Confiserie Sprüngli and tell her about my shopping triumph but she’s already thinking about when she can do a twirl in her dove-grey ensemble. So successful was our trip that I told my parents that I wouldn’t be going back to school in Quebec (strikes or no strikes), that I’d do grade 10 in Ottawa and continue to live with Ema.
The following year my parents told me that we’re all off to Toronto and while I’m tempted to stay in Ottawa, the draw of the big city is too tempting and so I say goodbye to my comfy situation at Ema’s house. The next summer, Ema suggests we plot another tour together. “How does Australia sound? Should we stop in San Francisco and Fiji on the way?” If the European circuit with Ema was the spark that landed me in Zürich then our Australian tour was the jolt that convinced me that journalism was my calling and my future was across the Atlantic and not in Toronto.
My grandmother gave me a strong sense of what it meant to be Estonian. Perhaps the decades of Christmas dinners, Easter lunches, summer camp and time spent in the Estonian communities in Ottawa and Toronto set the stage for me to get a bit closer to the Baltic Sea, Nordic culture and a life surrounded by teak furniture. If you’ve followed versions of this column in Monocle and the FT over the years then you’ll know Ema’s been with me in Forte dei Marmi, Palma, Honolulu, Merano, St Moritz and, of course, London. If you happen to have come along to one of our launches or cocktail parties, then there’s a good chance that you will have met Ema and know she loves a party, holding court and kicking a leg up.
Earlier this week I was over in Toronto for meetings and my mom treated me to lunch at Holt-Renfrew. We discussed upcoming trips and agreed that mom would go up to visit Ema in Ottawa and then head down to Atlanta for a bit of sunshine and to see her cousin. I made my way to the airport, caught my flight to Paris and on approach to Charles de Gaulle opened my phone, scrolled through emails and opened one from my mom first: “Ema died in her sleep after lunch,” was the first thing I read and it has been replaying in my mind all week.
Ilse Erika Meere was born in Pärnu, Estonia on 5 June 1918, and was a most extraordinary woman – not to mention an amazing grandmother. She taught me the importance of making an effort, looking one’s best and good manners but also how to have fun, entertain and enjoy the party. Ema was on the eve of her 107th birthday and if you’re looking for a few clues about reaching three digits, Ema would tell you to drink coffee, eat in moderation, cherish the sunshine, walk a lot, maintain a figure that looks good in a bikini and never pass up an opportunity to dance with the boys.