OPENER / ANDREW TUCK
Inside track
I have been running in the early mornings; the evenings have become too crowded on my preferred routes now that the weather is so glorious. On Wednesday I headed out at just after 06.00 and there was something about the temperature, the way the city smelled so springy, that made me decide to push on further than I had planned. I headed through the City, along the south bank of the Thames, arced up through Westminster, into Hyde Park, on to Oxford Street… By the time I got home I was feeling exhausted – and incredibly smug. Was this the furthest I had run all year? Excited, I looked at the app to see how far I had heroically traversed. It said I had run 750 metres. Panic. Fear. What had happened? Was it all a dream?
At this point the other half had come to see what was making both a wheezing and wailing sound while simultaneously dripping sweat. “It didn’t record the run – I went miles and it’s just not there,” I blurted out in the sort of shocked tone that should really be reserved for when you discover your toes have been stolen in the night. And then he said something that made me question who this was that I had been living with all these years: “Oh well, it doesn’t matter. You know you did it, that’s all that counts.”
Some advice: do not start channelling the Dalai Lama when your partner’s running app has failed. Wiseness and calmness may seem like virtues to some people but they look like pretty ugly vices at moments like this. I tried to explain, “I need the numbers for my target… it didn’t happen if the app denies it… should I go and run the route again?” Luckily for him, he had a breakfast appointment to get to and left the house with some haste and what looked like an annoyingly saintly swagger to me.
Thankfully at the office I got a better response – well, from some. Tom Reynolds, our managing editor and a runner, looked almost ashen at the shocking news. But he had been witness to similar catastrophes in the past and had the technical equivalent of a surgeon’s operating kit to hand. He knew, for example, a site on which you can remap your route and the way to manually add this information to the running app. “Leave this to me,” he imparted, like some superhero.
Now I am not saying I made a big thing of this but Nolan, our senior editor and user of the same app, was also full of empathy and concern. Whereas Josh, the magazine’s deputy editor and not a fellow likely to be spotted gussied up in Lycra, seemed underwhelmed, “So you can just make stuff up – and cheat?”
Well, that was it. “You just don’t get it,” chided Tom. “Why would you cheat?” asked Nolan. I wondered how, for a second time in a day, I could have so misjudged someone. Cheat? All those statistics, all those beautifully recorded routes, are too precious to ever be tampered with. They are truth.
I let the other half know the good data news and, a few minutes later, Tom’s mobile rang. My partner was phoning from him for advice on what to do if such an emergency should happen again. “Well, it’s very distressing when this happens,” said Dr Tom. “But there are ways of treating this problem successfully and the patient seems to have made a full recovery on this occasion.”
Finally: This week at our London HQ we held a series of small parties to celebrate the launch of The Monocle Book of Homes. Each night was sold out and readers came to have a glass or two of rosé, hear its editor Nolan Giles and me talk about the project and, just as importantly, be out with interesting fellow Monoclers. These events made me realise how much I have missed these moments. I heard about new businesses and projects, people’s life stories, and finished the week amazed at the loyalty and support we get from our amazing audience. So thank you to everyone who joined us and I hope that we can meet people again in many more cities this year (just this week Tyler has been hosting in Antwerp, Copenhagen and Zürich). Until then, have a good week and be wary of any threats to your app-iness.