OPENER / ANDREW TUCK
Small victories
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Last week, in this column, I wrote about a book by someone I know and a man, Conal Walsh, who had died in 1995. It was the latter part that actually made me nervous. Would it reopen old wounds; was my take on a fraction of his life wise to share after all this time? Here’s what happened: within hours someone had forwarded the column to Conal’s brother, Nick, in South Africa. And Nick was warm and kind in his response to the story – we have since exchanged emails. Even in this breezy Saturday column, sometimes the words come with tugs or duty and meaning that leave me wondering how they will land. Anyway, I thought you would like to know that, this time, it was fine – and thank you also to all the people who wrote with their reflections on sustaining memories.
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Sure, we had never really talked about it. But there was an understanding in place – well, at least I had thought there was. Here’s the issue. We have a roof terrace at home; so do most of our neighbours. It makes for a miniature High Line park – if you are incredibly diminutive in stature that is. You see, over the years it’s become the favoured hangout of a mouse or two. Their presence has never bothered me – I might occasionally hear one rustling over an autumn leaf or spot one in winter devouring a seed or two dropped from the bird feeder by a messy-eating parakeet.
But the unwritten contract in my mind was: you do not come indoors. But this week? Let me tell you, agreements were breached. I was in the kitchen and, out of the corner of my eye, saw a mouse tip-toeing down the stairs from the roof, whistling a sort of don’t-look-at-me-style tune. When I stood up, he panicked and unwisely darted off into a dead end by the fridge. After a modest amount of squealing (me, not mouse) we captured him with the aid of a dustpan and a carrier bag and within minutes were releasing him into the wild, far from our house.
Then, the next day, I got home from work and there at the front door was a mouse – I thought for a moment he was about to press the doorbell. Spotting me, however, he made a run for it. Odd, I thought, seeing a mouse in the street. The next day? He came darting down the stairs again and into the lounge this time. He shot into another dead-end corner but when I ran over he had somehow vanished. What the heck?
Now believe me, while part of me was thinking “catch the blighter”, another part of me was thinking “this fellow deserves a season in Vegas”. I promise you that it was a vanishing act more impressive than David Blaine could muster. The other half was not happy and within seconds was online ordering all manner of humane traps. These began to arrive over the coming days. Some looked like miniature pieces of modern architecture, others appeared to be diddy playground rides. I was sceptical but we set them up all across the kitchen – each one made even more alluring with the addition of a biscotti morsel (it was all we had). Looking at our handiwork before we went to bed, the scene resembled a shrunken Burning Man festival. What mouse could ever resist this house of fun? Turns out, our mouse.
The next morning, all of the rides and trick houses were guest free. “Perhaps he only likes English food?” I proffered. Apparently this fell into my rather large list of statements in the “you are really not helping” category. Over the following nights we went through the same process and – nothing. There have been no, shall we say, “calling cards” either and so I am hoping that he has been reminded by his betters to get the hell out of our house. But we will see how this tale – and tail – concludes. Poison has been suggested but we need to carry on with our soppy middle-class niceness for a bit longer – before we snap and go into killer mode.
- Being older comes with a new benefit. The UK government has said that the double-jabbed can travel to all amber-list countries (lots of nice places) from 19 July without quarantining on your return. Now I have had my double-whacker status for some time but for younger people it offers a few challenges – especially if your second dose is not for weeks to come. Hence the scenes at Midori House this week. It transpires that many medical centres are offering the top-ups much earlier, you just need to sleuth them out. Chiara Rimella, our culture editor, seemed to be the control desk for our company, shouting out where various team members had to get to – and quickly. Sometimes people had just an hour to get in line. But by the end of the week, there were lots more people thinking that perhaps life this summer need not involve damp Cornwall.