The Faster lane / Tyler Brûlé
Strike up the brand
Happy New Year and sunny greetings from Lisbon! I greeted 2024 high up in St Moritz, kicked off the year with a strategy session and champagne with my COO and made my way back down to the lowlands on Tuesday. The touchdown in Zürich allowed for watering the plants, checking the post and a slight wardrobe tweak before setting off for the Portuguese capital. The pit stop also allowed for a chirpy encounter with our mayor as he was shifting some boxes into the town hall while I was doing some measurements at my little hotel venture across the square. We exchanged New Year greetings, discussed the snow conditions in the Alps and he asked how I was getting on with the hotel project. I told him all was going well, there was much to be bought and buffed and I looked forward to seeing him over the coming weeks as the project progressed.
My mayor seems to be everywhere. Lately I have seen him on the train heading back from Zürich, in front of the rotisserie at the grocery store, chatting to the butchers in the local gourmet shop and striding around the village. It’s exactly what I want from the leader of my little town. Indeed, it’s what I want from any leader – someone who’s out and about, meeting and greeting, observing what’s going on around him and hopefully spotting ideas and opportunities to improve liveability and bolster commerce.
2024 is a big election year: Taiwan shortly, Indonesia, the US and, possibly, the UK come autumn. I’ve never quite understood media nags and grumpy voters who beat up politicians for not getting out and addressing enough people on the election trail and then beat them up when they’re out in the world drumming up trade and patching up relations. Not every leader uses government aircraft for the right reasons but I’m much happier knowing that my head of state is flying the flag rather than lounging around the official residence. Aside from having someone in office who’s engaged with the world, what else do I want from my governments – local and federal? How about these:
1
The UK recently appointed a minister with a loose portfolio that encompasses taking common-sense decisions and implementing policies that rewrite laws and guidelines that are wide of being remotely pragmatic. While I’m not sure how well this is going, I’d like to see Switzerland (Portugal and France can jump on board too) and create ministries for brand and national aesthetics. Switzerland has a serious problem with graffiti, so much so that it’s going to become increasingly difficult for its tourism authorities to portray idyllic views of the country in its marketing campaigns without seeing rockfaces with tags for local football teams sprayed across them or museums defaced with “fuck the cops” scrawled on their most visible façades. The government might consider using prisoners or those awaiting deportation to get the scrub brushes out to assist in a nationwide tidy-up. Across the border in France, who’s going to be in charge of coming up with the design for the national uniform? I’m all for education minister Gabriel Attal’s idea to create a greater sense of sartorial order in the classroom and de-escalate the trainer-and-trackie wars but what’s going to look smart and inspire pride among disconnected youth? The ministry for brand could oversee such initiatives.
2
A social-benefits intelligence agency is a good idea for those countries that are spending far too much on propping up people who could easily find work and stop sponging off of the system. For such a system to function, it requires manpower (more jobs created) to ensure that Juliet or Janek aren’t sipping matcha lattes on the state when they should be out applying for jobs or honing their skills to get back into proper employment. They could also be put to use sandblasting away offensive graffiti.
3
Are many developed nations in danger of seeing critical infrastructure and defences collapse? Judging by the amount of recruiting advertisements that I see for policing, rail operators and branches of the military, then it must be more critical than ministries are letting on. Some tram lines in Zürich have had to reduce their schedules because they can’t find enough drivers. In the UK there’s a threat to decommission front-line Royal Navy vessels because there aren’t enough sailors to man them. To address these issues, see point two. Juliet could even enjoy her latte while driving a tram and making CHF 50,000 a year.
4
On the topic of salaries and talent gaps, what about upping wages for teachers and letting them get on with the business of educating rather than having to be security officers and sensitivity coaches. We’re collectively stuffed if we don’t get to grips with restoring a degree of status around being a teacher – be it kindergarten or grade 11.
5
Finally, let’s plot a road map for better infrastructure and think very, very carefully (even slowly) before venturing forward and opening the public purse. Reducing 50 per cent of a snowy city’s street capacity with bike lanes is nonsense when no one is out riding on slushy avenues because such an arrangement doesn’t work with the dynamics of snowploughs. Likewise, e-scooters seemed as though they were a great time and energy saver. But now that so many pedestrians have been killed as a result and many smart cities have banned them, how many are rotting sustainably in a landfill? I’ll let you do the maths.