Opinion / Andrew Tuck
That’s enough, petal
Last-forever plastic flowers and silk blooms in giddy colours were once regarded as decidedly naff. They were reserved for the graves of relatives that nobody had any intention of visiting (well, you weren’t even in the will), care homes and the windowsills of cat-loving eccentrics. They belonged to the same category as knitted loo-roll covers.
But now? It’s like a modern version of The Day of the Triffids out there. Storefronts are festooned with cherry blossom whatever the season, restaurant entrances look like pop-up plastic-flower markets and there are fake branches made to look like they are growing through the windows (clever, huh?). There’s barely a high street left where this world of fakery hasn’t taken root.
Perhaps the appeal is the age-old one: you don’t have to water these blooms. But what’s more likely is that owners of boutiques and restaurants think that these florid displays will appeal to the passing Instagrammer. It’s another example of how the pursuit of “likes” can make some things look foolish; it’s already made every hotel lobby resemble a TV set, with their wacky chairs and odd art. But one thing is clear: you should invest in poodle-shaped knitted loo-roll covers now. It would be so funny to post an ironic picture of one.