Opinion / Josh Fehnert
Put a sock in it!
I didn’t enjoy my journey to work today and it’s an increasingly common feeling. Yes, dear reader, London’s number 30 bus is no place for the demure and devoted bookworm to pursue a paperback in peace. Instead, it’s usually a riot of loud phone calls, smelly fast food and more recently an incident that involved some nail clippers and the removal of one passenger’s socks. The social contract that makes shared spaces work is fast being rewritten by selfish phone-touting zombies and it’s rotten. But we’re going to do something about it.
So here’s the plan: a digital-decency initiative. We’ve waited for plane, train and bus operators to launch one under their own steam but instead we’ve had to go ahead and draft it ourselves. To get the ball rolling we need to do something about cameras. Filming and photographing other passengers is rude and the chances are we won’t want to be in your blurry home movie. They’re out. Next, phone calls should be conducted either imperceptibly or – if on trains – in the spaces between carriages. Lovely that you’re catching up with your family, terrible that I’m now learning all about Uncle Henry’s athlete’s foot against my will. Oh, and forget those horrid phone speakers; quiet headphones or nothing please. Why should we all suffer? People caught playing music out loud should be ejected from the vehicle, be it plane or train.
A rant, perhaps, but it shouldn’t always be up to the tired traveller to take responsibility and call for calm. Also, most people are essentially good, honest and kind, and will just need a gentle reminder to keep schtum or tone down the phone call, although keeping their socks on is another matter entirely. Transport firms, your move – and if you need me, I’ll be on the top deck of the number 30 trying to mind my own business.