THE FASTER LANE / TYLER BRÛLÉ
Sound effects
It’s late Tuesday afternoon, the skies over the Cyclades are dazzlingly clear and this columnist has just touched down at Athens airport in an Olympic Air Q400 that’s in need of a serious spa day and general scrub down. The airport is packed with hundreds of families, couples, singles and tour groups connecting to other flights or making for the baggage carousel and heading into the city. The jostling and zigzagging of tanned, happy people heading to Amsterdam, Chania, Milan and Tel Aviv feels energising and oddly reassuring.
Out of the terminal and in the car (actually a much-too-large Mercedes people-carrier) the driver confirms that business has been ticking steadily upwards and that the sector is now about to reach its busiest stretch of the season. “We’re hitting the peak,” he says, motioning with a hand in bar-graph fashion. “And soon we’ll be flat out.” About 30 minutes later we arrive at the hotel and as we look down at the yachts, sunbathers and swimmers below we agree to quickly change and find a place to enjoy the sunset, a few drinks and an end-of-day plunge in the Med.
As we descend to our room the clerk tells me that the hotel is fully booked: Americans, lots of Americans, plus Israelis and families from the Middle East. You can sense her delight that it’s busy, that the property is back in its groove and is functioning to its highest summer-season potential.
In the room, swimming trunks are pulled on, reading material is stuffed in a tote and Korres sunscreen is applied (the SPF 20 smells like a delicious mix of scorched cypress, dried lemons and salt), and it’s off to find a few loungers. As it’s the end of the day many have already drifted off to their rooms to prepare for the evening and there’s plenty of sunny real estate on offer. There’s still enough activity around the pool and seaside deck to ensure that we don’t feel like desperate stragglers trying to improve their tan-lines before returning to Europe’s high north. A bouncy waiter promptly takes our drink order and a few minutes later we’re saying cheers and enjoying the views toward Aegina. I’m squinting trying to read the name across the stern of a vintage Feadship at anchor in the bay. It’s a fine-looking vessel, a bit stubby but still elegant and I can make out that the bronzed crowd on the top deck are definitely gearing up for a big night out on shore.
I’m about to catch up with the weekend papers that have gone a bit crunchy and sun-bleached when I pause and attempt to tune in to a thumping bass beat that seems a bit out of sync with the setting. I glance up and notice a group of guests swaying to the beat and try to get a geographical fix on the conversation. The music gets a bit louder and another round of drinks arrives. Has the hotel installed a DJ for sundowners? If so, it’s a bit of an odd addition for this particular property. I decide I need to launch a reconnaissance mission and do a quick saunter past the sound source as if I’m looking for a pair of sunglasses/child/tunic. Perched on the pool edge is a large, rather ugly red speaker that’s being controlled by a large man with an iPhone in one hand and a fruity cocktail in the other. He’s in the pool, he’s swaying his arms, he’s speaking a mix of Arabic, French and English, and his group are starting to clap.
I return back to base and listen to the volume increase as other guests look up, return to their reading, look up again and shake their heads. The pool partiers are oblivious to the fact that they’re now disturbing those within ear- and eye-shot and as they become more boisterous it’s clear that I’m witnessing one of the more disturbing, antisocial aspects of this pandemic: the complete erosion of the private/public threshold. What people have been doing in their living rooms and kitchens for the last 17 months now seems completely acceptable in public. When a junior manager eventually approaches the group to explain that it’s not okay to bring their own speaker to the pool and that they should respect the privacy of fellow guests, the poor lad is told off by several burly chaps with a barrage of questions and hand gestures. “Who is this bothering? We are guests. It’s just a bit of music. What would you like us to do?” At this point, the hotel staffer makes the tactical error of suggesting they turn it down rather than sending them packing. As he makes his way back to the hotel building, the group erupts in laughter, the music goes up and a certain streak of anarchy shifts back into gear.
Sadly, this group is not alone with their selfish, rude behaviour. The following morning I note that it’s also okay to do a Zoom call from the breakfast table with the volume at full, have Alexa join you on the lounger and broadcast Bloomberg to everyone nearby, set up an outdoor YouTube cinema for the kids to watch TV reruns, and on it goes. While there are no signs telling guests that it’s forbidden to use devices with speakers in such a setting, one would think that common sense and consideration might prevail. Then again, we’ve allowed ourselves to engineer a world in which digital devices and the idiots attached to them can operate without boundaries. The Catholic Church has no shortage of orders or real estate built around vows of silence and inner reflection; perhaps there’s a new revenue opportunity for the Vatican to start accepting bookings for those in search of good manners and reformation programmes for the less enlightened.