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We get on don’t we? I feel like we have an honest catch up every Saturday; we have breakfast together (and I never ask you to pick up the tab). But, if you have not already signed up, I’d like to ask you to take out a subscription to Monocle. Every month we are sending reporters and journalists around the world to tell stories that other media brands neglect, to discover opportunity and introduce you to people with inspiring takes on life. And we do this as an independent media brand; we definitely need your support. So if you sign up today, I’ll come round and cook you dinner to say thank you. Actually, that would be a bad idea: I can’t cook. But I’ll find a way of making you know how appreciative I am. In an entirely consensual, polite way. Just click here.
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On Thursday it was my colleague Sophie Grove’s birthday and we took her for lunch at a restaurant near Monocle called Fischer’s that serves classic Viennese fare and even looks like it’s been airlifted in from Austria. Fischer’s is part of a group of restaurants founded by the celebrated and much-loved restaurateurs Chris Corbin and Jeremy King but which, earlier this year, was rather brutally taken over by its majority shareholder, the Minor Group (so not so minor after all). It was an ugly fight and most people hoped that Corbin & King would somehow triumph. Indeed, such is the loyalty that the two men inspire that, when one of my lunch group heard where we were going, she asked, “Are we allowed to?” Still, as she carved her way through a schnitzel the size of Tyrol, it looked as though the question had, at least for now, been put to one side.
But she is not the first person to ask me whether it’s OK to dine there and, for some, the former Corbin & King empire is in effect cancelled. My takeaway? I have been going to Fischer’s for years and while the management might have changed, many of the staff have not – so who should my loyalty be to? Minor paid some £60m (€69m) for the business and I would hope that the founders are OK, so does it really help if diners then engineer a boycott that sees staff lose their jobs? Plus, it’s one of the few places in London where the service doesn’t suck.
Because what’s happened to the world of catering? Whoever you speak to, it feels as though restaurants and bars are struggling to find good staff – and that’s from New York to London to Sydney. These jobs might not always be the best paid and are often demanding but is being a barista or waiter really so terrible?
After university, while I was trying to find internships at magazines, I worked in a restaurant to pay my rent. I loved being a waiter. The restaurant had one chef – a fun woman who took me under her wing and even let me make some of the starters (let’s just say it often involved a microwave). Tips were then shared out at the end of the shift and customers’ half-drunk bottles downed in the company of the owner. Nearly all my contemporaries have similar tales.
Some say that in London, Brexit is to blame for the shortage of staff; others that people only want jobs that allow them to work from home. But is it also that lots of people just don’t like having conversations, being open and engaged with people they don’t know? And it’s not just a youth thing: do our addictions to our screens, to dealing with even close friends and family via the likes of Whatsapp, mean that jobs that expose you to endless spontaneous interaction just seem a bit uncomfortable?
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So where did the story really come from? Last weekend we went to Mallorca and caught up with several sets of people we know who, by coincidence, were all staying on the island. On Saturday we drove out towards the town of Pollença to see Kate and Rob, who live in Australia but are travelling for three months (are there any Aussies not in Europe this summer?) and were staying for a few days in a house rented by Kate’s sister and brother-in-law. It’s a house that is secreted away in a silent valley that is filled with good art and has acres of land. Bitter? I must have looked like someone had stuck a wedge of lemon under my lip.
Over lunch we got talking about learning languages and Kate and Rob mentioned how they had been admonished in their Italian class – and that it was all my fault. Some years ago, they reminded me, I had told them about an aged aunt who lived in Halifax and how that, one day when my cousin had gone home to visit her, she had confided that, “Two nice ladies have moved into the house next door. I think they might be avocados.” My cousin, detecting some confusion, said, “Do you mean lesbians?” And the aunt had replied: “I am so sorry, I always get those two things muddled up because they both came to Halifax around the same time.”
Anyway, cut to a classroom in Sydney and the teacher is asking people to introduce themselves in Italian. The two women next to Kate and Rob give their names, explain that they are life partners, and are both lawyers, or as they say in perfect Italian, “avvocati”. Kate and Rob admit that they might have giggled. The teacher asked them what was so amusing.
But as we ate lunch, I explained that there was a small problem: I don’t have an aunt in Halifax and I also remember repeating this story and explaining how my friend Kate had an aunt in Halifax. My partner then chipped in with how, actually, it was he who told us both this story and that he had been told it by a famous actress during rehearsals for a play – and it wasn’t Halifax; it was Dundee.
Crikey. Did this ever even happen? Or do they have versions of the same story in every country around the world with various fruit and vegetables – and gays and lesbians – switched in or out according to location? Let’s just say that I will be alert to my Spanish neighbours telling tales about two papayas moving into the building.