What do other men know that I don’t? Well, quite a lot I imagine. But my knowledge-gap concern today is about something very specific: socks. I have nice new loafers that seem to be the perfect fit, snug even. But if I walk for just five minutes, my hosiery sets off on a journey all of its own, slowly edging past my ankles, bunching at my heels. This forces me to stop and flip one foot up after the other so that I can yank the slinky socks back into position. That’s a lot of showgirl dance manoeuvres to perform even on the short walk from the office to The Monocle Café.
Midori House is in a part of Marylebone with a strong contingent of hedge-fund types who have the stealth-wealth look down pat: a good trouser, a gilet under their jacket, fulsome pomaded hair – and nice loafers. And, from what I have observed, none of them seem to be flicking their heels for urgent sock-rescue missions as they pace the streets. I really need their advice – on socks not stocks – but it’s a hard conversation to start in the coffee queue. “Excuse me, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but are you wearing sock garters by any chance?”
I took Jack, our editorial assistant, for lunch this week and a couple of seconds after we had sat down, he said, “Don’t look now but the actor Paul Rudd is on the table behind you.” I immediately looked and there he was. But there were two people next to us who I found far harder to ignore. A mother and son having lunch. She poised, beautiful, blonde hair scraped back and tied in a ponytail, a good bouclé jacket that hinted at an ordered wealthy life. He, perhaps 16, in teenager sweatpants-uniform land. What caught my attention, though, was that they were consuming their meal in almost total silence. This was because when the boy wasn’t eating, he was watching a video on his phone, balanced on his lap. There was no animosity between them. She would smile at him. But mostly just looked straight ahead for much of the time, frozen in her thoughts. It was tempting to ask her to join us but that would have been another hard-to-start conversation. And I guess it was just a moment in the dislocation that happens – by necessity – between parent and child at some point. But, observed so close up, it was a little heart-breaking. I found myself relaxing when they left.
The decoding of how we dress has become a whole genre of style writing – much of it very good. In part this has been spurred on by the costume teams of high-production-value TV shows where the minutiae of what each character sports are agonised over with almost scientific rigour. And at the pinnacle of this trend is the HBO series Succession.
In the opening episode of the current season, Tom corners Cousin Greg about the inappropriateness of his date for the evening. And the reason he knows she’s not part of the Logan family world? She has a “ludicrously capacious” Burberry bag on her shoulder that makes it clear to Tom this is a woman with too pedestrian a life for his liking. “What is even in there?,” says Tom, hissing. “Flat shoes for the subway? Her lunch pail? It’s gargantuan. You could take it camping. You could slide it across the floor after a bank job.” That small scene has prompted Bletchley Park levels of decoding activity in the media as writers address their readers’ fashion anxieties – “Is your bag too big?”.
Worrying about the meanings given off by what we wear, however, is also born out of the post-pandemic shift in work patterns which, in many industries, has forced men and women out of their dull but safe suits and twinsets, and into a world of unsure freedoms. Now that on paper you can wear anything to work, how do you know whether you look the part?
I went for a breakfast briefing this week with a leading property company that has a fascinating in-house team of design experts and analysts. They track every shift in demand but also help to shape the market, suggesting to property owners which sectors will need office space – whether, say, urban farming will really take off. But I liked that Steve, a skilled and eloquent human geographer, could also decode fashion. He referenced his knitwear: a quarter-zipped collared top of the variety that all those loafer boys adore and which in the UK the likes of Prince William and our prime minister, Rishi Sunak, are devotees of. A single garment that, for now, marks you as safe-hands, considered, part of the team and no-longer a suit dependent – and a little bit of a Succession-style fan too. He’d got the style memo. And saggy socks? What do they say? That it’s probably time to get out the brogues again.